my holiday

three years of suffering... torturing...
31st of May...
d call of deathmaster brought him away...

though i dun really hv much memories of him
cz i was still young tat time...
d only few pieces of memories tat still vividly in my mind are those tat happened at my old house.. Jalan Duku
the one tat will never be forgotten by our family is that..
he was alwz d 1st to pay visit for every CNY..
with d old motorbike... under d hot sun...
wearing d old shirts... with d tanned skin..
n we the nieces will bring him a big bowl of dessert tat mama will alwz cook every CNY..
then only he'd go to gugong's house =)

then all d memories tat i got in my mind are those tat after his accident..
i still remember he was lying on d stretcher at hospital pantai..
with all d blood all over his face n body...
then luck was not on his side...
he fall dwn when he was recovering...
n tat was d source that cause him cudnt walk and think properly anymore..
lying on d chair, looking at d sky alone outside his house...
poor bemu still hv to take care of him though she sprained her back when carry him to bathe..

i still remember there's once he told us tat he saw his mama which was my grandmother at d nite...
we were shocked tat time... as tat was d day we were preparing for grandmother's death anniversary..
guess grandmother also worry bout his dear son...

bebe loved paos...
d pictures of him trying to fit in three paos into his mouth still in my mind... so clear....
tat was d time when he not noeing hw to differ hungry n full...
n oso d time when he cudnt really recognise us...
all we can do is jz bring him sth tat he adore lots..

time flies.. n it's true...
it's ored three years...
sum says "so pity... he was just 61 years old.." but sum says " mayb it's good for him... so tat he wont suffer anymore.."
me? i dunno... just trying my best to do as much as i can to help in d funeral...
i asked my mum tat day when we got d call bout his death,"do u still remember when was d time we got d news tat bebe accident?"
i was surprised tat mum still can remember all d sequence of d incidents...

bout papa? guess he's d one tat feel most geksim...
tis is d first time i deliver death news to sumone..
summore is to my dad...
stay strong karen... stay strong papa...
my tears flow down though i resisted it... cz my heart really shatters when i heard my papa crying on d other side of d phone when i told him bout bebe's death...
it's been hard for him for sure... noeing tat his eldest brother had passed away yet still hv to continue his work at shanghai for 7 days only bek to malaysia...
i noe there's nth i can do to ease his pain...
but all i noe is tat i hv to stay strong... stay calm... so as to help my mama n to represent papa to help in d funeral since he's not around in malaysia...
i hope wat i did for d past few weeks really help...

but who wud hv thot tat tis is not d first blow for us...
d next day of bebe's death..
early in d morning we got gonggong's call...popo's condition worsen...
we rushed to popo's house... she was shivering...
we were lost... we were so ganjiong.. wat to do... wat to do...
then without hesitating.. my mama,my sis, my cousin n d maid carry d half-conscious popo into uncle's car n rushed to hospital...
i felt bad at tat time as i cudnt help much...
cz i'm those tat will vomit when i see sumbody vomit...
n so.. all i can do is jz trying to calm d crying baby cousin tat was left at d living room...
i felt so sorry at tat time....

mama, sis n me... the three of us are lost....
we were so scared... no... no...
hw can u be so cruel, deathmaster...
u cannot take her away... no..
i prayed so hard on d way to hospital...
my hand trembling with fear... tis is d first time i felt so scared...
tis is so wrong...

dripping, injection, d pulse rate machine, blood pressure machine... all kinds... three four pipes on her hands...
i looked at my mum... she tried her best to stay calm..
n so i thot .. i must be strong... cz mama still nid me...
but i was fear cz doctor asked three of us must stayback cz things might happen at anytime...
goodness... wat shud we do?
uncles and aunties stayed in d hospital to standby.. while we go to my bebe's funeral cz no matter wat it is... we still hv to go there for a while cz it's paternal side summore papa not in...
but on d journey to bebe's house..
mama burst.... we let her sat at d passenger seats...
n she cry under d darkness... trying her best not to let us notice she was shedding tears...
she must be very tired mentally...
rushing here n there...
n worrying bout her mother tat's still lying in d hospital...
me n my sis just stay quiet... let her release her worries into tears..

popo's condition was critical for bout three days...
then gradually under d doctors' n nurses' observation... she's better ad...
i'm so glad... i feel so glad tat she's better ad....
thank god...

but d fever still will attack her...
just nw went to hospital to visit her...
her lips crack... lost weight...
so pale looking... n shivering in cold... cz having fever...
but all i can do is jz pray...
hope there's any medicine tat can lessen her pain...
let her feel better.. more comfortable...

bebe rest in peace.... popo jiayou....

burst out

everything seems to happen so abruptly..
all of a sudden... i feel tat i'm so weak in accepting d truth in life...
so obsessed in d life of a free n "good for nth"gal...
reluctant to throw myself out from d comfort zone...
reluctant to believe wat's being told or wat's in front of me..
kind of disappointed with d "me"
i hope it is still nt too late for me to learn from it...

d truth in life is alwz sth so cruel..
it jz like a sharp knife tat stabbed into ur deepest heart..
it's either to be accepted or u'll gonna live in agony... live in ur own world...
deceiving ur ownself by ur own honeyed words to convince urself not to believe wat's actually happened in ur life...
hw silly it is.... silly....

it really test my maturity in dealing with these....
test my maturity in behaving myself to act normally in front of frens though my heart is bleeding...
torturing myself to be strong yest.... not to show out d weakness in me in front of u all..
but i failed....
when i got d news from d other side of d phone after d movie.... d tears just cudnt stop flowing dwn my cheeks...
i hate to be like tat.... seems like i spoil d whole atmosphere.... sorry
but i'm still not tat tough enuf till i cud stop myself from thinking of it....

however... d worst part is when i gonna b d character in d topic of cheering up all...
hw fake is tat...
i hold my tears.... hold it thru....
i wonder y i hv to b d character... y...
though i dun mind... but after u hv noe it... noe tat i'm suffering from sadness... from down....
yet i'm chosen to be teased.....
it's not funny at all for me.... but it seems to be effective for d others....
n so... i gv up fighting... let go of my pride n all... let it be....
let it be..... i dun care........
since i've no more energy to fight bek... to fight bek tat... hv u ever put urself into my situation?

tired of all these....
trying my best to throw myself into d atmosphere of moving house today...
just to forget everything..
n it did help... after all d hard work in moving all those stuffs from A1 to C1...
sweating is best for me nw... getting myself out from thinking so much...
bout all things...

karen jiayou....... jiayou......
sumtimes... let go is gud...
dun hold everything urself.... it's not ur fault...
u r not d one shud b blamed on...
jz try ur best... n everything will be fine...
cz u just wana be urself... so just be...
u r u urself.... noone can change d fact...
jiayou

P/S: thx for ah jack n gkai in helping to move house.... n thx for yi cheng bring me go c doctor n oso thx for lending me d car... thx for tomato in assisting me thru... thx to all...

it scares me jz nw

went to grandma's hse jz nw...
she looks so pale... jz like d piece of white paper..
it hurts me when looking at her lying at d sofa in pain...
but there's nth we can do...
nth we can do to ease her pain...
i can only sit at there... looking at her..
trying my best nt to let my tears drop dwn...
b a tough gal... b strong...
tat's d first time i c her suffering from tat agony of illenss...
cz b4 tat... when she's suffering.. i'm not in...
tis is d first time i noe hw d situation is...
it really scares me...
but... i'll overcome it.. i blive..
jiayou.....

yumcha

jz bek from lao di fang!
meet my bf... haha.. bestest fren la...
aiks.. forgot to take pic again :(
all d things kept in d heart for so long time all burst out in tat 3 hours meet... so nice......
we chitchated as if we nvr did b4....
a frenship tat lasted since primary 3 till nw... n of cz will lasts till d last breath of us...
it's such a blessing....
it's such a priceless treasure tat nid to be shielded nicely...
i truly cherish d bond... d memories....
kinda down jz nw when found out tat ur mother actually got attacked by minor stroke... so sorry to noe tat...
seems like both of us having d same emotion.... same problem...
but i blive... both of us can overcome d obstacles in life very well.. dont we?
we r d best partners since we were in primary 3....
so many things tat we ored went thru together...
let's strive our best to protect our luv ones nw...
n thru tat... it makes us a stronger person...
n i truly blive... we noe hw to cherish more than others do...
jiayou.... ah mei u can de.... ah bi u can de...
:D
glad to hv d yumcha session jz nw.... i really feel a lot better than being in tat "deserted place" where i can only feel d "cruelest side" of human...
n i hate tat....
i'm not "me" in tat "place"... it's so fake....
thx for letting me release myself jz nw....
thx....

i'm just a simple gal

there's nth i can do~
i'm just a simple gal..
a gal with no strength to change d fact
a gal tat can only barely do anything to make her suffer less..

heart shatters when i c her lost so much weight...
my dam burst when i c her being tortured by d illness..
but there's nth i can do~
life is so fragile...

i had experienced d lost of sum1 tat i luv so much three years ago..
n it seems like it it jz only happened yest...
time flies...
i hate... hate d illness tat found d new target once again...
y grandma? y?

looking at her pale face... listening to her soft voice...
seeing her barely walk more than five steps then hv to sit down on d chair...
still trying her best to take care of her life partner - grandpa...
i c d bond tat is so strong between d two old folks..
n i'm touched...

d luv n care after almost 60 years of marriage... hw nice it is...
chatting with grandpa... trying to calm him dwn...
i can c d fear in his eyes... worry bout his dear wife...
care bout her condition... trying his almight to protect her from any harm...

but who will noe wat will happen then?
noone cud...
n it makes me feel tat... no matter hw much money we earn... hw great we achieved... end up we'll still get nth... if we do not hv d care n luv from d luv ones around us... our family... our frens...

i luv grandpa, grandma a lot...
they are d ones who take care of me so much when i was young....
they are d ones who i count on so much whenever i'm weak....
they are d ones who fetch me bek from school when gastric attacked me..
they are d ones who buy snacks n teatime for me when parents were not in...
they are d ones who share their oldtime stories with me when i've noone to talk to...
they are d ones who are so close to me....
bsides my parents, siblings n frens...

i'm just a simple gal..
just an ordinary gal...
tat i pray so hard... dear god plz bless my grandpa n grandma with health n happiness...
n tat's all i can do...
to hv nice chit chat session with them whenever i can....

cherish those around u~

another nice lyrics to share with ~

最近
李圣杰

你最近不说话
怎麽了为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁

你想要的
我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束
不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路

爱我却不能给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束
不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
这一次我们都能很幸福

kiss the rain

雨的印记

生命中
不断地有人离开或进入
于是，看见的，看不见了
记住的，遗忘了

生命中
不断地有得到和失落
于是，看不见的，看见了
遗忘的，记住了
然而
看不见的
是不是就等于不存在
记住的
是不是永远不会消失

my fren sent me tis~~ n too bad... it's too chim for me.. n i dun really understan it:(
but i think it's sth tat really nice.... i hope those who browse my blogspot will like it:D
enjoy~

谢谢你

遇见你是美丽的意外
过去的情感过的很精彩
面对你我发现了未来
爱让我勇敢不管多艰难
快乐的起点悲伤的终点
总是在需要你的时候陪我度过考验
不断的重现感动的画面
在身边围绕着甜蜜幸福的成全

谢谢你对我的爱是最美的语言
我的心愿相信你都听见
就算爱必须离开面对陌生空间
你的体贴值得每天怀念

谢谢你对我等待是最好的再见
我的眼泪相信你能体会
就算爱必须分开留在两个世界
你的誓言没有保存期限

要怎么爱不会有遗憾
梦走得太快舍不得醒来
你的笑让心情很灿烂
心里还存在留下的温暖
快乐的起点悲伤的终点
总是在需要你的时候陪我度过考验
不断的重现感动的画面
在身边围绕着甜蜜幸福的圈圈

谢谢你对我的爱是最美的语言
我的心愿相信你都听见
就算爱必须离开面对陌生空间
你的体贴值得每天怀念

谢谢你对我等待是最好的再见
我的眼泪相信你能体会
就算爱必须分开留在两个世界
你的誓言没有保存期限

过了这些年 距离再远
你一直关心着我 抱着我 照顾着我

谢谢你对我的爱是最美的语言
我的心愿相信你都听见
就算爱必须离开面对陌生空间
你的体贴值得每天怀念

谢谢你对我等待是最好的再见
我的眼泪相信你能体会
就算爱必须分开留在两个世界
你的誓言没有保存期限

谢谢你对我的爱是最美的语言
我的心愿相信你都听见
就算爱必须离开面对陌生空间
你的体贴值得每天怀念

谢谢你对我等待是最好的再见
我的眼泪相信你能体会
就算爱必须分开留在两个世界
你的誓言没有保存期限

学着

夏天都还没过爱就到了尽头
什么都还没说就隐隐作痛
只好深呼吸望着天空
拼命抬头让眼泪往心里面流
该学着勇敢的寂寞
忍耐不是成熟
当爱情沉默的时候
比孤单还难受
该学着微笑的放手
当流星划过闭上双眼
取消永远爱你的心愿
不在想你一整天
也不要拥抱的敷衍
就让勇敢的人先说
再见
只不过到最后爱一个人多久
想忘记一个人也要那么久

scary

last nite was a scary nite for me....
when i was receiving d photos for liping's bday from msn share file... suddenly d sound of "children screaming" came from my back.... it's so loud n so eerie... i was trembling with fear... however still try my best to b brave n turn to my bek to c wat had happened...
all i cud c is d curtain at d neighbours window blowing out by d strong wind... n the trees shaking so hard by d wind... .goodness..wat had happened?? the wind was so strong tat it sounds like human's screaming~~
i felt so gatal with d sound... so scare... n mynn trying to calm me dwn... tomato too....
i can feel tat my gegendang gonna burst by d loud music tat i played with my earphones.... yet i can still hear d "scream".... it lasted bout 1 hour gua... d sound....
nyway... gamsiah tomato for d drawing
n it's proven tat i'm really chicken hearted

it's alan's bday ^^ n it's d 1st day of finalz

hohoho~~
no mood pia for my een...
so bloggy comes.. haha:P
it's alan's bday yo~~ :D
we celebrated it at oldtwn :D hehe...
here's sum details..



d group photo... a big gang of ppl... haha... HAPPY BURFDAY ALAN.. dai go zai lo.. :P

n before everything happenS~~ hehe... me n ying ying enjoy ourselves by taking pics.. :D
hohoho~ :P















cute cute ying ying... so cham,... haha.. cz dun wan me to act hodoh... so.. she sacrifices.. :P
hehe..











the burfday boy (before the "make up")+ burfday cake yo ~~~ @@


hahahha~~ saw tat ?? :P it's d new make up... :P n d new shirt yo :D
"i nvr expect soon ming is holding d cake.... ar.... wat the....." tat's his response yo :D













taking pics with bday boy lo~~ hehe... trust me.... he was forced to do tat action by me... since it's his bday mah... :P wahahhahah

AND THEN~~ ?? hehe....
ss photo taking session starts again :D
wahaha ~~ i think tat's d side effect of cuttin short d hair ... lol...

有你真好

这时候最能让我想起你
多希望你在这里
你总是愿意把你的手心借给我握紧
该往哪里
我总是依赖着你
你是我的方向感
我可以确定
你会带着我朝对的方向前进

i'm thinking of you
我有你真好
你能让烦恼变得渺小
我遇见一个最懂我的人
我会提醒自己
把这份爱收好
i'm thinking of you
我有你真好
只要牵着你的手就知道
我不是一个人在这世界停靠
因为我拥有你在我心里

i'm thinking of you
有你真好
thinking of you
因为有你
我看见世界的美丽
i'm thinking of you
我有你真好
只要牵着你的手就知道(我就知道)
我早已经没有任何缺少
因为我拥有你在我心里

懂了

不该再浪费力气
做些迂回的事情
用眼神直接对你轻声细语

你没有别的表情
总微笑转过头去
轻易解开我传送的谜

如果这样还算不上有默契
至少能代表我们都够聪明
不用再问为什么
不用再说些什么
了了懂了
我们都一直爱着
不用再担心什么
不用再害怕什么
累了睡了
牵着手一起入梦了

wo……yeah

一直算不准天气
错过期待的场景
没在彩虹出现那刻说爱你
你一定善解人意
知道我想的事情
所以下雨不急忙回去

la……

如果这样还算不上有默契
至少能代表我们都够聪明
不用再问为什么
不用再说些什么
了了懂了
我们都一直爱着
不用再担心什么
不用再害怕什么
累了睡了
牵着手一起入梦了

不用再问为什么
不用再说些什么
了了懂了
我们都一直爱着
不用再担心什么
不用再害怕什么
累了睡了
牵着手一起入梦了

spirit tat nvr dies..

Dog gets medal for saving kids....

to my surprise... i found tis article when i wana check my mail...
it's so touching to noe tat even animals hv tat bravery to protect d small ones...
it's so shame of us being d one with d intelligence.. but some not even being able to hv 1% of its bravery...
i truly respect tat lil jack russell...
d spirit tat nvr dies...
tis is d article ~


Tue May 8, 2:53 AM ET

WELLINGTON (AFP) - Nine-year-old Jack Russell terrier George is being honoured with a posthumous bravery medal for saving five New Zealand children from an attack by two pitbulls.

The medal from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) comes after US Vietnam veteran Jerrell Hudman said he was sending his Purple Heart medal to George's owner after hearing of the dog's bravery.

George, who had a heart problem, won fame after defending five children from the pitbulls in the small North Island town of Manaia a week and a half ago. The two pitbulls rushed at the five children on the street, prompting George to charge the much larger dogs as the children escaped.

The Jack Russell was badly mauled by the two pitbulls and later had to be put down because of his extensive injuries. The two pitbulls were also put down.

The SPCA medal is usually awarded to people for their bravery in defending animals.

"George was a very brave little dog who almost certainly prevented severe injury, if not death, to at least one of the children," SPCA chief executive Robyn Kippenberger said.

"It's truly tragic that he paid with his own life for his instinctive act of courage."

Hudman, 58, of Austin, Texas was a US Marine for 30 years and said he decided to send his Purple Heart to George's owner Alan Gay after reading the news on the Internet because the dog was "a little warrior".

The Purple Heart is awarded to those killed or injured fighting for the US military.

when you wish upon "ti gong"

When you wish upon a "tigong,

makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
will come to you

If your heart is in your dreams,
no request is too extreme
When you wish upon a "tigong"
as dreamers do

Fate is kind,
she brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue,
fate steps in and sees you thru
When you wish upon a "tigong",
your dreams come true

it's definitely a nice song... jz tat i'm nutty + notty.. haha..
editted it hoping tat tigong will blessed me without sorrow n without gastric..
tigong bobi... bobi ah bi + bobi ah bi's family & frens shun shun li li... kai kai xin xin... jian jian kang kang... ping ping an an... gamsiah gamsiah :D

whoever wana d correct version of "when you wish upon a star" ... can get from these websites.. :D
finalz~~~~ jiayou !!!
http://solosong.net/wish.html
http://duchessathome.com/music/wishuponastar.htm

as simple as tat

it's d strength tat u gv me all d way thru my life enables me to overcome all d obstacles in my life...
i'm so blessed to hv u in my life...
d relationship btween us is more than jz a fren...
wish tat d bond will be strenghten thru d luv n care tat we gv to each other...
d most important one is d trust...
thx for d support..
i'm so xing fu :D

hmm... another three drawings.. let's see

hmm... tis one... is named "hamp sap fly- frog" haha... hou wadat.. but.. i luv d colors.. it makes me remind of drawing classes during kindergarten... we jz simply use colors to draw watever we want.. hehe... everyone... if u all wana try it out... do play it with ur frens in d YM environment.. DOODLE.. hehe.. :P

















can u c tat? supposaly it's "ISH" haha.. n tat notty tomato edited it by putting "F" n "Y" lol....
n it bcomes "FISHY"... lame ya? hahahha... i think so too.. but it's simple n nice too..
creative:D

















a drawing tat supposaly is "+U" which is jiayou... end up it bcomes like wat's in d above.... haih...
wonder wat's in tomato's head.... "KFC" bcomes "kentucky fried carrot" wat d hell?
haih~~~ n he actually thot tat "MC^2" is "MONG CHA CHA"... aduhai.... mana ada ppl punya brain can think of all these funny terms while studying de?? hahahha....

timbo... my dear

timbo~ my dear....
i shed my tears jz nw... when i got ur mummy's reply.....
"already done. kant find la.." :(
hw i wish i can gv u a big hug nw...
m i too emotional?
i really feel so sad when i noe wendy n kahfook cudnt help u find a mtachy bf...
then end up... u hv to undergo d streilize operation...

my heart shatters.... i feel so sad... thinking tat no more baby timbo...
though i cudnt understan d reason bhind to do d operation so early..
or it mayb not early for vet's thinking..
but still.... i cudnt help myself not feeling sad... n dwn...
timbo.... :(

i really wish to c u having babies cz i noe tat for sure they'll be as cute as u...
as pretty as u...
but... fact is alwz so cruel to be accepted....
i'm sorry

SI TOMATO >.<

hahhaha~~~ tis drawing is proudly presented by the "si tomato"... lol..
i was so shocked when i see d process of drawing.. hahhaa:P
he actually so~~ hmm... hehe hw to say leh? haha... make me feel tat he as if bek to his childhood.. hahhaa :D
so cute...

nyway... tis thing really cheers me up... haha... whenever i c it.. sure i laugh out loud...
i'm waiting for d 2nd edition.. tomato...
let's +oil together yoh... jiayou jiayou :D
thx a lot for all d help....
chili appreciate it lots...

so kelian

你说：鱼并不会哭，鱼是没有眼泪的动物。
可是我看到了鱼在水里哭。
鱼在水里哭，有谁看到了它的悲伤？

你说：树并不会哭，它们是一种没有思想，情感的植物。
但是我看到了树在雨里哭。
树在雨里哭，有谁看到了它的悲伤？

我就是那条鱼。我就是那棵树。
一条有眼泪的鱼。一棵有思想，情感的树。

我依然在哭泣，只是没有人看到。
没有人在哭泣，只有鱼在水里哭，只有树在雨里哭。
我的哀愁，没有人看得到。
没有眼泪的悲伤没有人清楚。
宁可变成鱼，宁可变成树。
也没有人在乎，没有人在乎。

what will ur response be when u c tis??
i found tis from sumone's blog...
so kelian....
seems like noone cud understan him....
haih~