exam week

it's officially started...
hahhaa... 29/9/07, first paper... BHM2042
80 mcq.... ><
economics?? sux...
management?? boring...
accounting?? confusing...
aduh...
cudnt find any interest in it.. ><
die la...

i came out from d hall at 328pm..
where d exam actualy start at 230pm...
got a lecture from my eldest sis when i called home after i came out from the exam hall...
but... i really cudnt tahan d atmosphere in it...
n i really dun wana look into the paper ad... sorry.... ><
hope tat the coming papers are.... okie....
hehehe:P
jiayou oh...
all my frens n foes....
remember to bring ID n exam SLIP... :p

fRienDs?

just thinking tat....
these frens....
are jz not worth it...
no point to be so helpful.... so concern on them, karen...

28th september 2007

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to mummy,
happy birthday to you~~!!!

so sorry... again... cudnt celebrate your birthday with you....
but i hope you wont mind... ><>to be with you ... n oso with papa n wendy n tina...
bad mmu.. hehe:P

thx for being so supportive..
esp after d incident tat happened during 2nd sem of my beta year...
though i still cudnt get understanding from u...

n i oso noe tat there's alwz a thorn in all our hearts... after my rebellious action of tat time...
n i can c thru all of ur eyes that... i'm no longer being trusted like before
n i'm no longer being treated like d gal tat u all wil nvr worry about...

but still i hv to say thx for bringing me up...
for worrying me...
though i do feel irritating at times... cz i really get pissed off when i dun get d supportive ones around me..

however... it proves tat i'm not unwanted ah bi... my family concern about me... loves me... jz tat.. ppl do get frustrated when wat they want cudnt be approved...

but its ored past.... trust me... plz...
cz with no trust... d bond will really gone..
n i dun wan tat to happen.. =)
i'll try my best to do wat i shud do...

i'll be good... though things might come out differently..
but i'll overcome it.. blive me plz..
n if i ever cause u fell sick... i dun mean it... really dun mean it...

just wana say tat... plz dun hesitate to tell me wat's happening in our hse....
in your life... in you...
cz u still hv this three gals tat alwz will be with you... supporting you thru all the things..
although i'm the youngest... i'm still can be counting on... i'm not the black sheep...
neither wana be treated as one...

coz i alwz belive tat... we are the ones tat understand each other the most...

i'm glad to hear that you bek to your "wai dan gong" class again tis evening...
good for u.... at least there's sth to let you release out your stress n tension...
n it makes me feel tat i hv a lovely papa mama when jz nw papa actually told me tat he ored booked the badminton court to celebrate your birthday...
isn't tat romantic.. :P

mummy, i love you... daddy.. i love you too..
i miss you all so much...
i'll try my best de..

xingku ni men le~~~

恨不得快点长大
天下父母都这般期盼着我们啊
我们已健康成长
快来祈祷父母长命百岁啊
请记得要常回家看看爸爸和妈妈
简单的一顿饭他们也开心很久啊
随便聊一些话
或随意呆在家
父母的伟大是从不要求我们报答
生活的压力真大
爸爸妈妈多苦也撑起了一个家
我的一点点挫败
说历经沧桑仍微不足道啊
请给我多一点时间证明给你们看
请原谅我的能力有限再要努力啊
偶尔我没回家或工作到天亮
偶尔你慰问的电话让我充满力量
父母的伟大穷我一生也难以报答
我们要把握时光来疼爱爸爸妈妈

silence... i kill you

wana hv sum time to release tension??
bet mmu-ians do... :P
hahaha...
study week sux.... exam ??? lagi lah sux...
but... here's sth i got from my hsemate... :P
n it do cheers me up...
hope it cheers u up too....
SILENCE... I KILL YOU.... hahahahhhha

http://www.snotr.com/video/389

evaporated

happy mooncake festival...
hehe... yest... so surprise... dad called me...
n wished me happy birthday.. haha...
tat's so sweet of him wishing me happy birthday though it's d lunar calendar... :P
ahhaha..... but it's d warmest feeling i ever had... made me feel so touched...
thx dad for remembering it...
n thx for bringing me up...
xing ku ni men le....

trying my best to be tough... be strong...
not to be terrified by d nitemare...
not to disappoint them...
i'm jz like wearing a mask everyday...
getting tired of it.... tat's y i run...
run away from everyone...
hiding in tis tempo house.. tat at least.. i feel some comfort here...
but so sorry to mafan d two of u in d tempo hse...
sorry....

glad to hv all d wishes from everyone bout mooncake festival...
it really mean so much to me... for tis festival...
cz i luv it d most...
but when time pass..... seems like i getting more n more further away from it...
seems like no longer celebrating it...
no longer had d chance to get together with my luvable family.... to sit dwn together chitchat all nite long...
dun even hv d chance to actualy bek home.....
i miss home lots.....
i miss papa mama lots.....
haiz.....

pre-course registration ... noob la...

woke up at 6am tis morning...
duh... i wonder y i wake up so early tis morning....
end up?? haha.. watch charmed again... :P
dui bu qi papa mama ar... :P

then?? check result for EMG... whew... luckily still not tat bad... :P
then?? check the schedule for my pre-course registration...
according to my fren, as what he sent to me tat day... all gamma foe will hv to register course on today... 9am.....
but i cudnt get my schedule for pre-course registration till tis morning.. ><
and guess what?? mine is at 26th... what d hell...
today is 24th~~!!!!!!
one word.... WEIRD......

cudnt check with the person in charge as it's so damn early.... hw to check wor??
aiks.... so gotta wait till 9am....
still putting sum hope on mmu system... n so... i tried to register like what my other frens did...
n it's proven tat... i'm not suppose to register like them... cz mine is on 26th and d system ask me to double check my schedule..
so i made a call to Pn Norazlina...
too bad... she ask me to refer to the exam unit...
aiks.... wat la... i damn ganjiong ad... ><
then... after lots of attempt to get thru d line of exam unit... finally sumbody picked up d call...
n it's confirmed tat... they hv put me under the wrong group...
><
SWEAT~~!!!
damn tired la... being send here n there ><
end up i cudnt register to the group tat i wish to... :( sob...
i cud only manage to join d other group... haiz...
nyway... thx fuyo, jimui, tomato for cheering me....
but i'm really pissed off tis morning.. ><
hope i can get thru all tis =)

I M daMn duMb....

MY 22/09/2007
~~545pm~~
since monday... study ect......... non stop...
end up macam learn nth... ><
pok gua... pek cek... feel like wat i did is jz wasting my time...
arghhhhh...
stupiak....
y so duMb............

~~7pm~~
go shifu's birthday party lo... (+hse-warming)
gotta say..... i had fun... though i really feel awky.... awky cz... hmm...
i'm out of d gang...
let's put it tis way....
there's sum gang in them... but they are clos to each other...
however..... the gangs there... not to say gang... i shud put as similarities.. :P
there's foe delta.... but i'm in foe gamma.....
there's mescorp.... but i'm nt even d wc......
there's fom gamma.... but... i'm gamma too bad not fom....
there's CNYE..... both 9th & 10th..... but i'm neither the two of them.....
n sum sum other similarities tat i cudnt get myself into it....
n tat's y.... when most of them c me... almost all of them ask d same Q:
"y is karen here??"
kinda feel out of d world for d first time...
my social life doomed bcz of my age?? haha... :P getting older i bet...
nyway.... luckily still got d other three pretty gals for me to chitchat with... thx a lot...
at least not so left out... for sum time...
:)
d hse is nice... d gang is nice... d atmosphere is nice... but i jz cudnt let myself feel "uhm"
though it's really cute of them having fun there... though drunk ad.. :P
but... no regrets going there... .thx shifu.. :)
then yumcha at MURNI...
to let those drunken ones... clear their mind a bit.. :P hahaha
sorry to jimmy n tony... i really too tired ad... so i talk without processing d words in my brain...
so kinda strait4ward when talking yest.....
sorry.. :)

MY 23/09/2007
~~ 430am ~~
finally i'm home... :)
fainted...

~~ 124 5pm ~~
chipmunks ringtones had rung....
i jumped up from my bed... GOODNESS..... it's 1245pm....
really doomed la tis time.... cz i got a real terrible nitemare.... ><
summore wake up at tis time... makes me lagi moody.....
i dreamt tat i lost d most important thingy in MMU... which end up will make my whole family suffer... n make myself disappoint my family...
d incident tat i most terrified of.... alwa pray tat it will nvr happen on me...
but... it's so real.... plz dun happen....
n si tortoise.. i dun mean to mafan u wake me up.. really thankful tat u called me... thx...

~~0130pm ~~
library-ing..... blog-ing.... sigh-ing......

awake.......

wow...
ect n ecp ... these two really killing us....
stay awake for all nite.... not only me... but my whole groupmates...
kesian...
i wish i'm clever enuf to contribute sth....
end up none.. :(
cud only stay awake with them doin nth.. :(
aiks... so cham

thanks chiao er... teaching thru d phone on ect assignment.... hehe... tat's so nice of u...
thx wei jie n alan come our hse help out ecp assignment.....
thx si ginna for chatting with me.... at least i can release a bit tension... :P

stress gao gao... dunno hw to do so many stuffs...
bhm test?? only noe hw to do management part.. :|
aiks.....
cham liao la....

gastric...

gastric gastric gastric..
i wonder y la..
aiks...
nyway.... it will be gone sooner or later....
i wont let it last for long. ... ish...

hade a great heart to heart chatting session....
nice one... haha..
as if chatting to my ownself...
at least.... gastric fade a bit....
pain in d heart fade a bit....
no more pek cek liao.. :P
thx yo... u noe who u r...

still got long long way to go....
hard one..... ecp, ect, bhm...
whew.... three of them....
i really nid to boost up my spirit... jiayou jiayou jiayou...
no more time to think of all those stupiak sickness liao...
kanasai sickness that wasted my puberty.. hahha:P

tml is another new day...
hope tat everything will be fine...
to everyone around me... :D
esp popo....
miss u alll

sick

oh no....
seems like... really d signal has been lights up...
today... again... not feeling good...
luckily jack brought me to clinic.....
n end up??? ya... same prob like wat alwz happen to d gals in our family...
which is maternal side...
low blood pressure...
n nw?? it's my turn....
it kinda scares me.... cz it's not so good.... n it is really bad to have that...
as i kinda getting weaker n weaker..
evryday feeling dizzy... couldnt stand up for long....
lousy me... haiz....
but i guess it's in my blood..... i mean d symtoms...
at 1st.... i planned not to let mama noes...
mana tau..... thru wendy... she noes it...
i asked wendy not to tell mum... cz i just wana ask wendy sum Q about wat happen to her last time.. n wat mama ask her to prescribe ....
nyway..... i hope i can get well...
cz bcz of tis loow blood pressure..... i wasted a lot of time...
n my health condition is getting worsen... n i got gastric n sore throat.... dizziness....
jiayou ar...

morning morning~~~ it's a brand new day again...
gotta work things out...
feel tat time nt enuf for me to spend...
aiks....
mayb i'm jz greedy?:P
nyway.... i will jiayou jiayou.... :D
watever happen is ored past...
gotta face d world with a smilling face.... bravest heart...
cannot let papa mama worry ...
colours are bek to blogspot again... yeah.....
independent day of ah bi
ahahaha

stupiak..

recently, i just encountered sumone that behaves so alike me...
the characteristics, the behaviours, the attitudes, the temper, the actions,..... n all ...
so stubborn... till i can hardly believe that "oh shit.. i'm jz like talking to my ownself..."
but... i shud say... he is more like the old me.. hehe..
cz i tried my best to change d old me... d stubborness ad...
n so....
how i wish i can help him... just at least change the bad temper of his..
hmm... at least noe wat's getting into him... wat makes him so pek cek...
cz it makes me feel bad... feel sad oso...
so i get pek cek too..
as i noe... it is really san fu for one to handle the prob all alone...
aiks.. :P
so end up....
it makes me think of "out of my sight~!! out of my mind~!! "
cz i blur ad...

it's kinda weird

hmm...
somehow.... it's jz weird...
but i think i'm alrite la..
hehe....
jz be a happy child in tan family~
jz be a gesiao fren in my frens' world~
ah bi jiayou...

dumbness

dah lah dumb... bodoh lagi...
really dumbodo la... :(

feel so dumb.... so numb....
thx khoon khoon, eng eng...
so late still go eat icecream wit me... then go swing ... summore halau by security...

things jz changed...
it mayb to d better for d others...
but nt for me...
i jz hope for a better karen.... cz it's nt good to get emo all d time yoh...
hehe...
nyway... it wont last for long la..
as long as i still noe there's at least one person whoever he or she is...
cherish my existance...

i miss home lots...
especially at tis time....
when it's my weakest time....
which i lost all my reliance on others...
on d one i trust...
trust no more..

terrified

somehow... it just scares me...
though all of us shud be mentally prepared bout tis...
i had a hectic week... a real hectic one..
tat made me hv to cancel going for my chinese orchestra practice for the performance on saturday, cancel my chinese orchestra class with my juniors, cancel goin for salsa class, on air with my juniors and workshop for 10th anniversary and last but not least the volunteer work that i've alwz wish to join in MIFC...
i truly apologize for all these.... i'm sorry

when i though that i nearly can put an end on the bad performance on my two tests tis week,
friday which was yesterday, when i went for a proper lunch which i had missed for the week, i got a call from wendy..
i answered it happily as i miss her since i hardly hv d chance to contact with her..
but d tone of d sound that i had from her was so gloomy.. so stress.. so sad.... so scares me...
she talked about grandma... she talked about she rushed bek to muar d day before as grandma barely breath... she mentioned about grandma's condition which sound so alike with wat had happen few years ago on gu gong.... and then she mentioned about... grandma might leave us in any second...

goodness.... tis is a real blow to me...
i dunno hw to handle it... cz it's jz scares me...
i was petrified tat time... i wish there's sum1 tat i can actually count on to.. tell me wat i shud do..
which might be silly to others cz it might be sth easily taken by those tat ored mentally prepared..
but though i look like one tat might be strong... yet i'm not..

i tried to breath deeply... stay calm... n then ask further Q to make sure tat she's clear bout wat she's talking about...
n wat i get is true...
"u better get bek muar whenever u can... cz she's really weak... which anyone of us dun wana hv any regrets, rite?"
then i hold my tears... to stay calm n think of d solutions....

she felt sorry tat she cudnt stay for long in muar... coz she had work to do... summore in bangkok...
but i'm in msia... i'm in cyberjaya... i shud b bek home...
n so i did... i plan it... ya... plan it..
i called my dad who is in bali... to ask him whether i can hv a ride on his bus... then i called tina...
then only i got to noe that i'm d only one who noes nth....
cz i'm having midterm tests n all... n mum dint wana tell me bout grandma's condition...
n so... i decided to folo tina's car bek muar on d next day which is today...

we reach at bout 5pm.. then we strait away go to grandma's hse...
mum was coughing badly... she lost her weight... look pale...
uncle oso look tired...
when i walked into d hse... i saw grandpa sitting on d chair he used to sit bside d telephone facing grandma which was lying on d restchair.. trying his best to observe her every movement.. to fulfil her every need...
then i approach grandma....
she was awake tat time when i squat dwn n talk to her...
she still has d smile on her face... still worry bout my mum's cough... ask me to take k of my mum... but i saw her tears at d edge of her eyes...
she's so skinny.... she's so weak...
she cant even feel her feet... she can only feel numb on her feet...
cudnt stand... cudnt eat...
but at least... i'm glad tat she still noes me...
she will still stay awake for sumtime... not as bad as wat wendy mentioned to me...
cz tat's really bad if tat happen again...
but we jz hv to alwz be prepared for d worst....

mum talked bout wat had happen two days ago...
which they thought they might hv lost grandma....
grandma fainted.. n all of them cried....
but thank god... she stil here....
still here.....
not another blow for us....
pray for u, popo

trust no more...

sui things alwz happen together...
laptop kena virus after i reformated my laptop for less than 5 days.. aiks...
then SIG2 lab report... aiks...
then trusting d wrong person....
sumore two.... aduhai...
realy cudnt blive such a fool i m...

nyway..
cudnt be able to bear myself fr trusting them again...
repeatedly being cheated...STUPIAK..
nyway.... jz let them b...
god noes... i wish .. hehe..
thx for d caring from mlc frens... gamsiah.. :)
really wish to bek mlc soon...
n thx yan ... sorry let u worry....
n oso thx tomato..
for all d songs... really nice.... :)

n i luv one of d lyrics... hehe....
share to all view my blog la....
whoever stress.. jz find me.. hehe..
hope d songs i hv will cheer u all up:D
jiayou.....

here goes....

闭上了眼睛感觉
我们的容貌都有些改变
在挣扎中学会了谅解
再多的眼泪都已是昨天

乘着风我们飞越 艰难的时间
梦因有土地植根而完全
我们迎接
全新的这一页
感谢你我能够写下自己的明天

若不是你 我怎么会看得见
每个梦想在实现之前 都需要起点
如果我会很幸福 因为你在守护
虽然你沉默的就像一棵树

若不是你 我怎么面对考验
只有你继续给我力气走向全世界
除了万分的感恩 对你的心也真
若不是你 我怎么能够完成这未知的旅程

raining

these few days d weather as if picturing my mood...
up n down... uncertain... unstable...
yest i burst out so many things to gundu...
unexpected tat it will actually happen tat i throw out all d stuffs in my blog into him...
i wonder too.. nyway... speechless to describe it..
jz feel tat... mayb i shud do so.. since it's awkward...

nw.... studying emg.... feeling so lonely... so lost...
i knew tat watever i did yest dint ease myself at all...
sum sort of like... it's an action to ease him rather than me...
i dunno y i hv such thinking....
but it jz happen to appear in my mind tat watever i did watever i say is jz to let him noe tat i'm stress.. n i really do...

at tis time around... as wat i told him...
i really dunno who to turn to...
i nid sumbody to guide me.... sumbody to assist me thru...
it mayb thought vr foolish of me on others' sight...
but it's jz too much for me to handle....
n of cz i noe tat i hv no right to ask sumbody to share d stress with me...
as i hate myself doing so... cz it's jz not right for wat i think...

getting thru d obstacles is my responsibility...
noone shud be drag into tis matter...
but i'm jz too tired.... so tired....
feel like wana split myself into pieces..
crack my head into pieces....
i'm such a useless bum...
good for nothing....

jealousy alwz strikes me these time around...
it's such a shame.... y is it strikes me...
n i finally got d answer...
i alwz yearn to be cared.... to be loved... to be pampered...
yet when i get it... i'll run... i'll hide....
cz i'm afraid to lose everything...
chicken hearted....

how now~

泪光

因为爱所以懂得珍贵
我的心从此就不为谁
爱一个人费尽千山万水
有你梦就不坠~
经过那一段冰冷风霜
我闭上双眼找爱的方向
有微笑的回忆不费思念
看见世界最美丽的花
于是我不再有忧伤不再有惆怅
闪动的泪光是爱的接待
你是我命中的光芒坚强的力量
把爱都点亮让幸福温暖怏怏

发现爱

发现爱

林俊杰+金莎

叽叽喳喳路人小孩
噘嘴的你站在露台
阳光眯着眼看我们
同时也发现爱
嘀嘀咕咕我该不该
让你看穿
冰淇淋的默契就是爱

努力想藏这刻曼妙
不觉中悄悄融化了
变成最幸福的味道
忘了烦恼可爱多好
不需要说什么
呼吸之间就尝到了你我
心电感应
我看见loves
in the end

丘比特胡闹唠叨的月老
缘分来了他们谁也管不了
就放手去爱
loves in the end
花开得很好风吹得很好
只要你在什么都好
爱的香味随空气飘

呜喔~~~

hungry

today do lots of things..
finally.... manage to meet yi chong... edo... aaron...
wow... all d spb-ians.. so glad tat u all still remember me:D
hehe... but so sorry tat i hv to go n meet d korean... so cant chat for long...
nyway... really glad to c u all again:D

then... when i reach FOE... BR1020~ they are actually having their social gathering..
wow... it's cool:D
hehe... all d local fruits are there..
n today i manage to noe another new gal named sae hae..
she told me tat her name actually means "happy new year"
wat a meaningful name she has:D
hehe...

then as wat we plan... we went to hb and hv lunch...
luckily the shops are open:D
hehe... after the lunch break.. it shud b d buddy system... but too bad... it's midterm break.. many havent come bek.. so they postpone it..
and replace d thing with their preparation for presentation on coming monday...
n i requested to be in d computer lab.. hehe..
and it was granted.. so nice:D
hehe... thx sir...
n i helped kil kil n ping sang to do their slides on soju.. hehe..
they perform well:D thumbs up

after tat they hv their briefing on homestay for one hour..
i use tat one hour to wander around at campus...
then after tat go n join their dance practice..hehe...
so kepoh la me:p
ahhaha.... but i really feel happy today..

hungry hungry..
hehe... no apetite tis afternoon.. so eat a little bit only...
so.. nw hungry hungry after d dance lo....
luckily i brought bek lots of stocks.. :D hehe...
cooking...


it's meat n vege.. :D
hehe.... just simple cooking to fill in d stomach...
kla..
time to wash d dishes...
chaoz:D
happy day