Saturday, December 02, 2006

more than just a fren

She’s searched around the world from north to south and east to west..
Day and night, in search of a fren bcz she only wanted the best..
Tis fren of hers must be sincere n kind…
Tis fren of hers must nt be a guy…:P
But tis fren of hers must be happy and alwz hv her in his mind..
Someone who is happy and full of cheer..
Someone who noes hw to hv lots of fun and when time get rough… wont run…

She’s blessed tat she’s found tis fren…
He makes her life whole again when “he” turn her dwn…
He makes her noe tat life will not be so meaningful if she do nt change her mind..
He makes her appreciate all he did for her, when he picked her up, and said everything is going to be fine.
“I luv u my fren” she said…
N things are nvr be the same again..

“I truly cherish u… till suddenly I found out tat for wat u did… there’s a reason bhind it..
U r so special to me.. n u had make a difference in my life… or shud I say.. my whole world..
No matter hw often u talk or hw close u r to me… I jz wanted to ask u,” y u make tat decision?”
N for tat u lied to me…
My dam crack.. n so I burst …
I dun understand… I couldn’t understand…

I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you…
With the accompaniment of the moon and the glittering stars,
Finally it gaves me the bravery to say tis out…
WHY?
U r so disappointing me… as u dare not to answer the Q face to face wit me…
However those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything…
At least… I got the answer in ur eyes..
The stupidest fool I m in ur eyes…”

But the stupidest fool found out tat she is really such a fool after she get to noe the fact…
The fact tat she actually not only treating him as a fren…
But more than wat she wana be..
But never what he wana her to be….
But she’s not clear… not clear of herself too…
N not clear of wat is in her mind…
But she couldn’t shout out wat she feels too…
For the sack of everyone…

Daring herself to really make up her mind?
Daring him to change the decision made in his mind?
Daring herself to figure out all the unwanted possibilities in his mind?
Or daring him to figure out all the unwanted possibilities in others’ mind?

A decision maker… a co-operative party of the decision maker…. A fren in need…. A heart in sin….
Things changed… without expecting…
But can she change too??????
Perhaps the answer is a NO…
Losing him will be her greatest regret and so…
choosing to avoid is wat she doing nw..
Choosing to keep a distance with him is wat she can think nw…
This is the rules of the game…
N she’ll follow the rules…
As she doesn’t wan to exceed the boundaries…
As she doesn’t wan to lose him…
And afraid of losing him


Her dearest fren in this world…

2 comments:

KSeong Ang said...

well..should i say anything? i might not think so...maybe u have ur own view on ur relationship....the so called "her dearest friend"....lies n hurt...hmm...n now u regret of it....complicated mind..

CarrotEgg said...

hmm...
as wat i predicted... u really dun understan the writing...
wat u mean by lies n hurt..
n regrets?
Nway...
thx for taking time to read yo..
n will explain to u when u got d ling2 gan3 4 d song..
=)