raining

these few days d weather as if picturing my mood...
up n down... uncertain... unstable...
yest i burst out so many things to gundu...
unexpected tat it will actually happen tat i throw out all d stuffs in my blog into him...
i wonder too.. nyway... speechless to describe it..
jz feel tat... mayb i shud do so.. since it's awkward...

nw.... studying emg.... feeling so lonely... so lost...
i knew tat watever i did yest dint ease myself at all...
sum sort of like... it's an action to ease him rather than me...
i dunno y i hv such thinking....
but it jz happen to appear in my mind tat watever i did watever i say is jz to let him noe tat i'm stress.. n i really do...

at tis time around... as wat i told him...
i really dunno who to turn to...
i nid sumbody to guide me.... sumbody to assist me thru...
it mayb thought vr foolish of me on others' sight...
but it's jz too much for me to handle....
n of cz i noe tat i hv no right to ask sumbody to share d stress with me...
as i hate myself doing so... cz it's jz not right for wat i think...

getting thru d obstacles is my responsibility...
noone shud be drag into tis matter...
but i'm jz too tired.... so tired....
feel like wana split myself into pieces..
crack my head into pieces....
i'm such a useless bum...
good for nothing....

jealousy alwz strikes me these time around...
it's such a shame.... y is it strikes me...
n i finally got d answer...
i alwz yearn to be cared.... to be loved... to be pampered...
yet when i get it... i'll run... i'll hide....
cz i'm afraid to lose everything...
chicken hearted....

how now~