mixed feelings

hv been bothered too much??
i dont think so.....

due to some reasons, i came bek cyber earlier.....
i've been hiding all these....
except for few..... tat can i've told them part of d stories...
getting thru all these are not sth tat i willing to do so...
nobody wants it... nobody wud....

after few days of resting... calming dwn.... all alone...
yah... i'm getting better...
my mood, my emotions, my gastric especially....
i bet i'm really such a weak person tat cant control my emotions when i get older...
haha... i bet so... :P
m trying hard to get all these on my finger tips...
life is all about learning...

then the date tat draws me bek to last year.....
1st of November... where i lost my dearest popo.....
n d period of unfortunate events tat let me bcm a more mature person....
incidents tat cause me into big trouble....
the fights, the cries, the tears....
i'll nvr gonna forget all these......

i do admit tat i'm kinda straightforward sumtimes...
but i mean no harm....
i'm frank bcz i care....
one fine day, when it is a day when i dun even wana bother about u...
or when i dun even wana b frank to u....
u r really no cure.... at leat in my perception... u r so..
these are for my families and frens....

luckily, so far........ noone in tat state yet...

Mr Koh (my english tuition teacher) tat i respect a lot...
he alwz advice me tat "tough time nvr last, but tough ppl do"
when i was in secondary school.....
altho he's kinda strict towards me....
treating me like his assistant instead of his student....
but i noe he wan d best for me....
he wan me to b tough....
ya... i'll try to apply tat...
n i'll nvr forget...

today.... i shed again....
papa came kl... then he came cyber and fetched me to visit yi po
i remained silent d whole journey.. after saying hi to papa and wei ming...
i duno wat to talk about....
deep inside my heart.... there's fear...
the fear of....... i myself oso got no idea bout wat i fear....
d sheds started when i nid to pass d money to yi po....
i duno y d tears jz drop when i had to pass it to her....
i jz dun like tat feeling.... wat's wrong with me...

i thot i'm alrite ad....
but y d tears drop so easily when she asked me tat Q....
i'm so weak!!!

n i duno y i write tis post too...
it's jz so random....
random till~ i oso dun understan wat i'm writing....
so lost@@

my eyes bengkak dy!!!