pretender

just bek from yumcha with jom heboh ppl~
laughters... chats.....
sorry tat i dun really in a good condition ......
hope tat i did quite a great job in pretending..... haha....

was so frustrated today....
got pissed off by myself again n again.....
wat's wrong with me...??
getting blurer n blurer......
haiz......

wearing a smile everyday is a tiring thing for me all of a sudden.....
cudnt get my head into wat i'm trying to focus on.....
losing d strength in calling up myself to at least completing one simple stuff....
it's only d 3rd day of d new semester :(

i got d news from mama tat tml wendy is flying off to new york....
as predicted.....
d feeling strike me just like few months ago... when i jz got d news tat she'll be flying off....
i nvr realise tat i did rely on her quite badly.... perhaps is mentally relying on her.....
cz for sum circumstances.... she does support me a lot in wat i'm doin.....
altho she did reprimand me a lot......
still..... i duno y i feel so lonely .... so lost..... when d msg of she'll be away for half a year came into my mind.....
with d technology nw.... it's not a problem for us to keep in touch....
still.... haiz..... wat's wrong with me.....

d strong outer look of mine......
faking d inner self of mine......
breaking d independent part of mine......
making d outside world of mine bcm so grey~~

time will heal....
jz nid sum adjustments......
but time n tide waits for no man.....
gotta recover fast.....
jiayou!!
take off d mask plz!