Aduhai~~
someone plz tell me ar...
wat has happened to me/?
everyday so duo luo..
duo luo nvm.... cz i alwiz did tat when final comes.... use to ad...
but... y everyday so moody??
n wat geram me is tat ... i cant even find wat makes me so moody..
OMG~~~~~
hw can tis happen to me again/?
karen ar~~~
karen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
where is the happy go lucky karen?
where is the cheerful karen/?
where is the karen tat scare of nth but dark n dolls??
where is the karen tat will smile to anyone who noes or dunnos her...?
where is the karen tat will kisiao with frens???
sob sob....
i wan karen bek~~`
i wan the karen wit so many family members...
i wan the karen tat makes her family proud of her...
haih......
long time no so pek cek liao...
somemore.. without any reason..
confirm.. 10 % confirm.. not bcz of studies...
cz.. i nvr bother bout it...
but y leh?????????
aduhai~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
help me ar........
i wan bek myself~
Friday, September 29, 2006
wat has happened?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
click~~
click click click...
a movie tat touches every1's heart... a movie tat surprise every1 in the end of its story..
who would ever expect tat it's actually jz a dream...
n who would expect tat.. a dream can actually be so meaningful to a guy..
a weird dream tat actually carries out so many important message..
so many important message tat one shud think of them...
in the begining of the movie...
frankly... i felt a bit bored...
cz dun really noe wat it wana brings out..
n when it's the scene where michael enter the department named "beyond"..
wow.. it's really beyond the imaginary...
great name... suitable one.. hehe..
n then only i slowly get attracted by the movie..
a "nth special" remote control... which named universal remote control..
can be so stylo... it really controls everything...
even the volume of the barking of a doggy.. cool..
n it can even hv different language.. jz like a translater...
n oso fast 4ward watever scene in ur life tat u get iritated or bored of...
wat a waste tat it is only possible to happen in tat movie.. haha..
however... isit really so nice to fast 4ward ur chapters of life??
for me.. i think it's jz taking it 4 granted...
it's jz a short cut to success..
mayb coz i love the process of doing things... even get iritated... i'll still conquer all of those process with my determination...
coz.. one might miss out some important stuffs if he or she take the short cut way in getting things done..
tat's my POV la..
family, love, work, life......
tis movie really picture out the life in our modern city nw..
ppl tends to forget wat is the purpose of their life..
though in the movie it's michael wana let his children n wife to hv better life..
but... has he ever thot of... wat the family wan actually?..
material stuffs? or love n care of a husband n papa..
ppl these days lack of companionship.. tat's wat i notice ..
even my sis's puppy, timbo, make me feel so too..
every morning, she'll bark softly to wake us up..
then trying to get our attention..
all she wants is jz a glance from u... or a "sayang" from u...
but... too bad... all bcoz of work... cannot be late..
they left her alone in tat hse.. all alone..
ppl might think tat i'm crazy...
but i'm feeling sad for her.. especially whenever i saw tat situation by myself when i'm in spore..
i'll hear the sobbing sound of her.. looking at her papamama(my sis n bro in law) leaving the hse..
even puppy will feel so... wat do u think for those children??
n try to link tis to those old folks..
it's kind of sad to find out tat children n old folks spend more time with their maid than their parents or children..
hmm.. tat day i jz found out tat my dad aged a lot...
looking at him... my heart hurts...
i felt tat i've such a long time dint look at his face... n tat makes me feel ashame..
ashame bcoz.. i dint spare enuf time with my parents..
sometimes.. slow dwn ur beat in ur life...
it wont waste much of ur time...
jz observe ur surrounding... ppl around u.. trees around u.. things around u...
u'll find out tat many things hv changed..
n u'll find tat u actually hv missed out lots of things...
get things done step by step...
dun detour to avoid "ma2 fan2"/ obstacles in ur life..
fast 4ward may not be the best way to settle the problem..
live out ur own life...
enjoy it
applause to "click"
Sunday, August 20, 2006
gu gong
11/9 - A date where ppl lose their love ones in tat tragedy.. so do i.. but not in tat tragedy... i lose my beloved gu gong..
gu gong.. a determine, strong, kind-hearted, caring ... husband of ma kim, father of three children, grandfather of five adorable kids, n i treat him as my grandfather too.. so do my sisters... my father?? he treats him as his father too..
still remember the handkerchief game in taman sentosa?? on tat garden, there's one man sitting on the round wooden chair.. playing wit three sisters: wendy, tina n karen, then the three sisters will listen to his story of handkerchief attentively; whenever u enter tat hse, u'll c a man welcoming u with a warm smile n ask u to hv a seat wit him..then he'll ask his dear n loving wife to prepare some drinks n food for u; in the evening, tending the garden especially the grass of the garden bcum his job; cats love him.. he will spare food for them....
this man is my dearest gu gong, the person tat i respect him as my grandpa, tat i respect him as being able to overcome the obstacles in his life, the person tat i respect him in facing the deathmaster...
still remember?? i told u tat i got highest marks in my class?? your smile pictured everything in your mind. the proud, the sactifaction, the happiness in ur heart... remember? wendy, tina n me love to listen to ur handkerchief story.. i miss those days.. the time we discussing about our school life, discussing my father's life, chit-chating....
gu gong.. u enter my dreamland for the second time... the first time, u look rather tired, sick; however, i'm glad to c u in my dream for this time as u look happy, healthier; i dunno wat it means..
it's been one year plus tat u've gone.. blinks.. i thot u were still here.. but u were not.. i miss u... n so do the others..
the blog tat i've written for u when u entered my dream for the 2nd time..
today~ the day where papa mama n other uncles n aunties prepare for ur death anniversary..
once again... u gather all of them together.. united..
i hv alwiz blived tat ur spirit is still here... forever wit us...
again...i'm sorry for not b able to attend..
i wish i could.. but i cant...
a simple stalk of lily...(tat wendy had helped me to buy it for u)
i wish it can represent my sincere, my gratitude, my miss towards u..
gugong.. i miss u
Saturday, August 12, 2006
cyber life
fuyoh~~
surprisingly... it's ored the last day of midterm break..
still remember my days in malacca campus...
keep on imagining my life if i were to study in cyberjaya..
n dreams come true... it's real..
i've been studying in tis so call "desert", "forest", "gou3 bu4 la1 shi3, niao1 bu4 sheng1 dan4" for two months plus...
adapting new lifestyle is not as easy as wat i think...
sometimes.. obstacles make me weaker n weaker till i feel like giving up...
once again... sickness found me...
attack my throat, my voicebox,.. once again.. nightmare begins..
kind of frustrated.. but wat to do...
again n again... things happen.. not in the way i want...
wanting to let go.... let go of the stubborness, the stupidess..
karen~ stop it!! put an end on it.. it's enough...
let it be a lovable, sweetest memory of urs but not one tat will torture ur life..
especially ur beautiful campus life...
sometimes step a step bhind will let u c a clearer view, let u noe more than wat u expect....
things change...
gladful tat i've found another gang of frens tat i share my sweet n sour with...
gladful tat i've them to guide me thru my thick n thin...
the first time i make sandwiches for so many ppl....
though it's only two piece of bread sandwiched tuna n eggs, tat's wat i want to share with them...
my care, my love, my sincere... nevertheless.. my gratitude..
then
though living in different house... doesn't mean we cant hv fun together... :P
Friday, July 14, 2006
~~still friends~~
Saturday, May 06, 2006
life is short but beautiful.. what do u think??
exam coming soon~~ yet..i'm still ponder around others' blog to find interesting writings tat draw my attention...
i stopped at one particular blog... i was inspired by the piece below..
not only tat.. i was inspired by the comments too.. hehe...
n so.. i copy it into my blog.. n would like to share with my frens..
"All the things that has been said makes a lot of sense..each question has a lesson to be learnt.."
enjoy it... there may be other answers for them... =)
here u go..
The first question is “What is the nearest thing to us in this world?”
Some might say our parents, our teachers, our friends. All this may be the correct answer, but the bestanswer is the closet thing to us is Death. It is known that all living things will eventually die. And on the Day of Judgment, we will receive our blessing for our deeds. To those who are granted the passage to heaven,then that person is truly a devoted servant of God.
Life on earth is nothing but a distraction and a test of our devotion to God. So in a sense, although we are busy with work and other worldly things, do not forget God, for He is around us.
comment.. Death is the nearest but yet so far away.When a person have the most luckiest life of all, Deathis very near to him/her as he/she had no intention to be living out of his/her body. Bu Death for a person who is in debts, broken family, with a broken heart everything in this life seems so cruel and not a single air came to him/her lungs to fill up the empty tanks, DEATH indeed is faraway.
He will have to decide whether to suicide or to livewith it to be optimistic..but either way death is so far..if he dies no one will thank him no one will listen again why he dies…there remains onl criticism,rage,confusions,sadness and not one person will remember to listen why he dies..i said death is faraway because death is a chance for us to live again in another lifeform/space/non-existent..there are many legends and myths you can apply on which ever you believe in but still it’s another chance.but if he suicide, he will be judge, he will be punished and he have no chance to prove that he only chooses his path to die and no one is on his side..sometimes our own decisions are not meant to be our choice..
The second question is “What is the furthest thing from us in this world?”
Some might say China, the moon, the sun and the stars. Again these answers are correct, but the best answeris The Passing of Time.
We will never be able to turn back time no matter what thus we should make the bestof our days and we should not spend our days doing things which are not beneficial. I guess this is really true, that many of us do not use the time we have to the best of our abilities. I think we all should allocate time doing things that matters most, such as studying, working and completing whatever tasks that we have. Once the time is gone, it is no use asking for more time or to regret for not completing our tasks when we had the time.
however, i agree with another comment that ..it’s our past actions.what we did, we cannot undo, what we aid we cannot withdrawn.If you said the answer is time pass,then when we sleep, time too passes faster than anything we have used our time on..it’s not beneficial to sleep as it waste our time..yes it is our body condition which needs it but have you ever think of if we use that 6 hours of sleep in 1 year..well you elaborate it.
Actions leave a scar and some may not ever heal.permanent ink stamp on the lifeof a child, a person who have grown still carries it through all his life.
Even when he is engae with a new life, family,neighbourhood…it’s still there.we gave others chance and others gave us chance to right the wrongs but whatever or however hard you tried,some inks are permanent.That’s why it’s the furthest…
The third question is “What is the Biggest Thing in this World?”
Some answers are mountains, the earth and the sun. But the most accurate answer is our Lust. Humans have been given a heart but it is not used to gain knowledge, we are given eyes but it’s not used to witness the creations of God Almighty, we have ears but it is not used to hear God’s verses. In fact, we are like animals, if not more ignorant and careless, and for these people there is only one place, which is Hell.
Our carelessness and ignorant can be attributed to our lust. Therefore we should always control our lustso that it does not overwhelm us and also to avoid us being categorized as those who will suffer on the Judgement Day. So from today onwards, let’s make a stand not to give in to our lust easily and be misled.
again... here's another acceptable comment..
The biggest thing in life is our HEART.
we can forgive no matter how or what is it if we love someone.we can hold a crime of our love ones with our heart yet we still love them.
we human can even give the last penny in the pocket to our love ones and left ourself to starve.we might not be able to give them happinessbut we stll love them as we always will.
A mother will love her child even he is useless and only eats and sleeps no matter how many years or decades it has been.
A child will always lovehis/her parents even when after all what they have given is scar for all her life.
A lover is always calculating the terms and the gifts with their love ones but yet they still love them…
That’s why i said HEART is the biggest thing in life, it can hold the very truth of someone, hold lies and deceive, hold fears and bravery, hold love and hatred, hold happiness and sadness, it can even hold lust.
The fourth question is “What is the Heaviest burden in the world?”
The answer is not steel, elephants and mountains. The correct answer is Trust and Integrity. All of God's creations, be it the sky, earth and mountains have rejected the trust given to them and this responsibility now falls into the hands of humans, which is neither intelligent nor responsible. Today, we can see humans caught up in the rat race to be a leader without realizing their own strengths and weakness. Therefore many have failed to make good leaders, blinded by riches and their fantasies, therefore unable to distinguish the good from the bad resulting in the failure to uphold the burden of Trust placed on us. Try to imagine a world without trust. Try to imagine having friends but none of them can be trusted. How we do turn to in times of turbulence? That is why in my humble opinion, trust and being trustworthy is very important.
yet... another comment~~~ The heaviest burden in life is LOVE…when we love someone we will do everything no matter what it takes for our love ones willingly or unwillingly, but we still do it for them.Because we love them…we will kill for protection, steal for survival, race for pride, abandon richest of life for pure happiness of him/her.
Love is a burden, but you would said when love is a burden, it’s not love at all.
Do you abandon you kids when they burden you?Do you abandon your job when they burden you?Do you abandon your riches when they burden you like the creeps of death and robbers smirking at you?
NO you dont..because you love them,you love you kids, you love your job, you love your riches. Love is the heaviest afterall…
The fifth question is “What is the Lightest (easiest) thing in the world?”
The lightest thing in life is our pride.. pride can make you fly upon the highest building. pride makes you forgot you are only human and that you have weight. Makes you think that you can fly and no one can stop you.
If we have pride we have wings because we have belief.
Because we already built in our hearts to think that we can do almost anything as we are proud and we never will look at the flowers aside the street. we will never look again how hard life was.. we tend to forget what is humble.
The sixth question is “What is the Sharpest Object in the World?”
The sword might be sharp, but the sharpest thing is our tongues and words we utter. Because of our words,someone might easily take offence and feel hurt be it our parents, our spouse and even our friends.
Be mindful of whatwe say and also not to hurt anyone with harsh words. All of us should be mindful of what we utter each day.We shouldn’t slander others, nor should we tell lies. our words are the sahrpest of all things. It can kill not life but a heart...
Life on earth is nothing but a distraction and a test to our devotion to God...
life is short but beautiful..
live it to the fullest...
=)
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Never Gone
in tis 3rd trimester of mine... many things happen...
both the good n bad ones...
flashback.... all vividly in my mind... the precious moments.. n the hardest time i hv gone thru....
gonna go to cyberjaya soon... in anotehr three weeks...
busying with my revision, i spare sum time to write tis blog... jz to voice out sum of my words tat hide in the deepest part of my heart...
sumtimes.. it's easier to say wat u feel in writing than saying it to sum1 in face...
however... sumtimes writing might let others more confused.. n then lead to misunderstanding...
anyway.. i choose writing as my option... n i choose serenity...
serenity is a feeling u gain once u hv silenced ur mind... tat's the only time when u can put urself in others' position...
no matter wat... tis is jz a simple blog for my friends b4 final exam..
i like a song very much... as it has meaningful lyrics tat touches my heart... tat describes wat i think... enjoy it... n these r for all of u....
Never Gone
I really miss you
Saturday, April 01, 2006
wanting to let go..
a sad thing about life is when u meet someone n fall in love, only to find out in the end tat it was never meant to be n tat u hv wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. if he isn't worth it now, he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now.. let go....
this is part of an article tat draws my attention... a unique one...
jz would like to share with my fellow frens...
Thursday, March 30, 2006
my dear timbo...
this is a blog specially written for timbo... hehe... an adorable golden retrieval which is my eldest sister's puppy... miss her so much.. n so.. these r all about her... kekeke...
D.O.B. : 25th august 2005
owner : my family..
location : singapore..
i like this photo very much.. as from this photo, it links me to many different points of view... different perception of thinking..
i feel tat she's waiting for her papa mama to cum bek.. looking out at the corridor.. waiting for them to gv her care n love... jz like those old folks.. waiting for their children to cum bek n visit them in the old folks home...
i was sitting bhind her when i took this photo.. trying to think of those other puppies tat being abandoned... those orphans tat being left by the parents.. n those old folks tat being rejected by the children...
i feel sad.. n so.. when my 2nd sister asked me tat day whether i would like to be a volunteer in taking care of the abandoned puppies in kl... i strait away said yes....
i miss timbo... n m wondering hw big she is nw.. haha.. as each time i see her.. she's growing in fast speed.. wahhaa.. timbo.. i miss u...
Friday, March 17, 2006
homesick..
hmm.. kind of homesick.. n kind of tired.. mayb it's bcz of the hectic week... pack with assignments.. tests... drama... dance.... n lots more... suddenly feel tat i'm not as strong as wat i thought... obstacles in life must b faced with the strong spirit.. the strong will in overcoming watever difficulties... mayb... i'm still not qualified..
i miss my family..
flapping thru my old diary.. i realised tat i do change.. my character.. my maturity in handling problems.. n i'm no longer the little girl... little girl of tan family.. thru the photos.. i can sense tat though i noe.. i noe tat each n everyone in my big family treat me as a little girl of theirs..
drops of tears flow dwn my cheeks as i reminisced my old days in jalan duku... the small terrace house where consists of all my childhood memories.. the good n bad ones.. the sweet n bitter ones.. the happy n sad ones... n the one tat we shared in gugong's hse too.. yea... all n all r priceless.. n it all vividly stay in my mind till my last breath...
wat bout the jalan masria? hmm... the place where happy occasions took place at.. the wedding.. the birthday parties.. the open house parties... n lots more... adventures? yea... the monkey visit ... n the burglary... n this is the place where i had my ex-schoolmates gathering... n oso the place where the preparation for my events were done...
home.... home sweet home... a place where i belong... a place where i care...
though there r arguments.. quarrels.. disagreements... till the end.. we r still loving each other.. caring each other... and tat's wat ppl say... family...
no matter wat happen.. we r still together... thru thick n thin..
Monday, March 13, 2006
organic love..
How to withdraw from a relationship
Saturday, March 11, 2006
ideal lover..
My heart was beating fast as the time approached
The golden ray of sunlight poured on the sidewalk
I like the confidence you have when you walk
I really wanna know what kind of girls can get your perfect marks
I heard the sound of the footsteps of time
Thursday, March 09, 2006
paintball~~
wahaha... it's cool... it's fun.... n it's painful...
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
PE 19,20
aiya... too bad.. i only joined their throngs by coincidence.. as i accidentally met them at wing's cafe.. anyway... it's still an unforgetable memory... n this is the group photo of us...
being able to b in PE 20.. to me.. jz like wat i told mr. amlan.. i'm glad to b in PE 20.. n it can b said tat.. my happiest time of my student life is in PE 20.. n not to forget.. also b wit PE 19.. as PE19,20 hv been together for three trimester thru thick n thin..
from first trimester till nw... the time tat we had shared among PE 19,20 can nvr b erased from our mind... no matter it's the good or the bad ones.. let's join me in the memory lane of mine with PE19,20... in trimester 1...
still remember the barber shop??...
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haha... wat lah... mama ask u to study.. u cum mmu to help ppl cut hair.. haih... wahhaha...
it's a rare experience to me... n i'm curious about... how cum these two ppl trust my skill..?? haha... anyway... i'm helping them to get their smart card... hehe... so.... this is one of the weird event tat happened in my life in first semester...
then.....
i found my son!!
i dun think others will blieve this.. so do i.. hehe.. this guy... alwiz wear the same colour of shirt wit me... no planning one yoh.. haih... even the handphone pouch, water bottle, n buddha string... haih... i wonder... n so... i take him as my son... hehe... n not long after i take him as my son.. i hv a daughter in law.. haha... son.. jia you oh... actually i've lots so call relatives in mmu la.. jie mei, brothers, daddy, ah gong, nephew n bla bla bla... they are all my best frens in mmu...
let's see... another unforgetable memory...
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hmm.... then the 3 good frens went to PD trip.... n one got his xing fu... haha..... 
tis is the one.... me wit PE19 girls... sushyan, leena n hui ying...
the trip to planetorium n kuala selangor to c the fireflies....
we r on the way to our destination...............
some hw... in the end of the 1st trimester...
i received a surprise frm jia xing.. our boss... haha....
the details of hw we bhave during lecture... enjoy it.. cz it's cool.. haha
so... wat's ur opinion???
hehe...
anyway... the memory lane.... for 1st trimester end here....
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