fragile

yesterday after mini project lab.....
i followed khangleng's sis's car bek to mlc to visit mama....
she's stil in hospital pantai.....
we reached around 830pm....
thanks for d fetch, khangleng and khangleng jie jie...

i went into d ward tat i visited mama on monday nite....
i was so shocked when i cudnt find mama in d ward.....
cudnt manage to explain y i felt so lost....
then i ran to d counter trying to find sum nurses to ask about where she stay....
but noone actually bother about me....
none of them entertain me....
thus i grabbed d list from d other end of the corner.....
check it out myself.......
mayb there's sum other easy way to find out where she stay???
seriously i've no idea at all.....
==
i'm jz having sum extreme low EQ at tat time....
chiu.....

flipping thru d papers......
finally i spotted mama's name......
ward number.... ward number.... where where where......
whew...... i found it......
then i rushed to d ward.......
caught mama stil on d phone...... no wonder i cudnt get thru her hp.....
i hate tis kind of feeling......
although finally i'd found her.....

she's on d phone with auntie rambo....
i havent express my gratitude to her yet....
for helping us taking care of both my parents...
fetching them to d hospital during midnite when all of us were not around...
thx for all d help....
thank god u were there when they were in need..... :)

tis time..... mama dont really look good....
she has got all d rashes at her whole body......
d face.... d hand.... d legs...... all parts of d body..... :(
n she's got swollen hands, legs ... even her face too.... :(
i felt so hurt...... looking at her hands n legs.... when she showed me......
she will feel sudden coldness from time to time......
shivering n burping without noe-ing wat makes her so.......
haiz.......

we waited for d doctor to come n check out on her condition.....
meanwhile..... we heard d conversation of d auntie with her husband and frens about buying sum tonic......
hence, i approached them to help mama buy d tonic too.....
since they were buying for d auntie too.......
good samaritans they are...... :)

around 920pm, the doctor came.....
mama's report has out...... it showed tat mama's platlets once again.... dropped.....
doctor claimed tat she has to continue her dripping.....
i saw mama's expressions changed abruptly when she heard d word "dripping"
i hold mama's hand to gv her calmness.......
but actually i felt so sked myself.......
d doctor left....... n d nurse in charge came in with d trolley fulled of all kinds of equipments.....
tears filled mama's eyes.......
but she nvr let d tears roll dwn her cheeks.....
d nurse started to talk to mama.....
told her tat she's goin to help her do d dripping......
mama turned her head n look at my side.......
i dare not look at d nurse's actions......
i really have to admit tat.....
i'm useless.... i'm fragile.... i'm timid....
i'm not as strong as mama..........
cz i dropped my tears when i saw her having pain......
altho she herself nvr even drop her tears.....
yet i dropped mine..... :(

dripping done......
then i cut apple for her......
she only ate quarter of it.....
d uneasiness of having dripping.... makes her mood changed slightly down.....
i wish i can do sth...... but there's nth much i can do.....
except sitting there talk to her.....
then d burping n shivering start again......
mayb is hungry??
i duno....... mama oso duno......
then she asked me go n help her buy one cup of milo.... from d vending machine....
milo's here..... but she has no appetite.......
she only drank two sips......
then half a piece of biscuit.......
n lie dwn again........

it's ored 1020pm at tat time.......
after seeing mama finally close her eyes n rest......
then i called mike to come n fetch me from pantai to ep......
thx for d fetch, mike.....
so sorry to disturb u ......
lijing too....... thx for letting me stay at ur hse ya.....

bsides tat....
gonna say thx to my kickboxing partner
i felt so touched when u sms me tat night after kickboxing.....
cz i was jz ranting about goin mlc during our break when we were having kickboxing....
n u did really help me check around ur frens c who's goin mlc d next day.....
thx a lot for d help.... :)

thx to manfred, xiayan, chiao er, xing yi, jovan, fax, ah v, kaomi, ooipin, everyone else tat send regards.....
**if ur names are not mention.... doesnt mean my gratitude to u is not there.... thx**

mama jiayou~!!
platlets faster bek to normal~!!!